My New Love Story

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For me, it all started with a business meeting almost gone bad, that we both share different takes on:

As I contemplated leaving in disgust, at the apparent disregard of my valuable time, Harold arrived fashionably late with seemingly not a care in the world.

Harold on the other hand says ” I thought:  ‘My she is on time she must really want to make a sale. But I also thought to myself “ I wonder what Crystal said to her? Maybe she told her how good I look!” as he chuckles.

Lastly, Harold says while walking up to my car he thought “ I hope this isn’t a waste of MY time!

And now he clarifies “When I saw you get out of the car, I  said to myself NOOOOOOOO, this will NOT be a waste, at all.Good God Almighty!” 

Two business meetings and one lunch date later, I soon found out through stimulating and challenging conversation I and Harold had similar faith, family values and even tragedies of love and loss that couldn’t be ignored.

Both of us say we couldn’t ignore a couple signs of PROVIDENCE and bits of TRIVIA, no matter how comical including:

  • Of all the cities and towns in the country, turns out my sister-n-law and Harold are actually from the same small town of Abbeville, SC.
  • One of our most fond dates was when his BELOVED Gamecocks and my BELOVED Cornhuskers met at the Citrus Bowl, in Orlando, Florida

Going from tragedy to triumph can often take longer than most anticipate or are even willing to process through. However for Harold and I, TRIUMPH came in the form of divine destiny as we both believe each of us were sent to fill a special void that neither imagined would have happened , sooner rather than later. Harold lost his first wife of 27 years through death, while my first marriage of 14 years was a casualty of divorce.

Harold once told me  he never imagined he would find someone who enjoyed “doing ministry” as much as he did and then he told me that my passion helped re-ignite his true desire to lead and serve.

Even before we said “I Do!” I  fondly told others, I now truly understand what it feels like to have a Godly man, love me as Christ loves the church! Now, I can really DECLARE   “THERE’S NOTHING MY GOD CAN’T DO”  and I now I boldly testify  of how God surprised me with THE Man of Valor, Harold Rollinson, who truly is a Priest, Protector and Provider.

Now as a Kingdom couple we cherish the times of marriage & ministry and enjoy making fond memories as 2 families blended together in unity one step at a time.  I’d love to hear your comments:

What was it like when you MET the NEW one you believe God sent your way? What gave you courage to MOVE FORWARD?

Moving from Devastating Divorce to New Divine Destiny

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When I first got divorced from my college sweetheart back in 2008 after 14 years of marriage and 19 years of friendship, I thought I’d never ever marry anyone BUT him again.  I mean, I was believing God for restoration and knew He had definitely presented the opportunities, but for more reasons than one, that just didn’t happen.

I could barely think about going out on a “date” let alone, ever marrying someone else.  Then it happened, almost out of nowhere. I heard God say “You’re FREE!”

“Free? What in the world are you talking about God?”

Free to move forward and move in your NEW DESTINY!

As I heard God speak, I began to cry as I realized it was time to release at a whole other level  what I thought would be my future and the beautiful end to an Interrupted Life.

No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I prayed, no matter how much God clearly presented the opportunity, it appeared as though, the choice of another human was impacting my life in ways I didn’t appreciate nor ever imagined.

It was really time to be open to allowing God to send my Kinsmen redeemer, so that I could continue on and so that my family unit could be restored however God chose to restore.

I can count on 1 hand the number of men I actually decided to allow to meet up for coffee, dinner or an afternoon outing.  Then out of nowhere, when I least expected it Boaz showed up.

As quick as he showed up, he then proposed and now, it’s hard to believe I’m about to celebrate 1 year of marriage.

In the next few blog posts, I’ll share more about my LOVE STORY and then I’ll move forward in blogging about THE TRUTH ABOUT Christians & DIVORCE and  blended families …

What about you? When did you realize that God may RELEASE you to marry again?



Book Review: The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box

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Lately, I’ve been more interested in reading books about “singles” and getting my hands on any reasonable
tips regarding the premise of the  book many of us “older folks” were introduced to years ago Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

I figured after 14 years of marriage and 19 years with the same man, maybe just maybe I need some TIPS before and during my entry back into dating or courtship. (More on that in another post)

So when I learned that relationship coach Christopher “Doc” Reid had co-written a “novel”  with Valerie J. Lewis Coleman, based loosely off of his experiences as a relationship coach, I couldn’t resist making the investment. Especially after seeing the tagline: “What your father didn’t tell you and your mother didn’t know!”

Whew! I’m so glad I did.

The Review:

The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box was an enjoyable read that definitely kept me thinking about the characters every time I had to take a break to get back into the reality of my current world.

I think every woman can find at least (1) Character within this book that really CONNECTS with or speaks to who she is  or who one of her girlfriends are, have been or is striving to be. I was quite pleased to see faith elements weaved throughout the storyline and more than anything, I was pleased to read a story that seemed like it could be QUITE REAL.

I didn’t want a lot of  “love-fantasy” mumbo-jumbo that was clearly exaggerated. I wanted the book to deliver the “secrets” its title allured to.

Fortunately, after reading the book in my spare time over a period of a few days, I can honestly say the content did deliver the anticipated results.  I would actually push for this to be a required reading for young women across the world, who are seeking their Mr. Right. I think it’s tasteful enough to be recommended as a supervised REAL & RAW reading segment for  our daughters headed off to college and I would easily give it as gifts to single women of all categories:  ie: never been married, divorced etc … The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box definitely causes the reader to think about all the games that women and men seem  to play when it comes to dating and relationships, but more than this, it also causes the reader to truly ponder where they are in their “love-life” , whether or not they’ve fallen victim to some  of the same “tendencies” the main characters in the book have experienced  and  what it will truly take to move them forward in an ordained life-long relationship they can be proud of.

Looking forward to the sequel!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what books have helped you through any tough transitions in your life. Also, what was the last good book you read? It’s easy to comment just click on LEAVE A REPLY below. 

Deliverance From The Sting of Divorce

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A few weeks ago Tuesday September 6, 2011, something SPECTACULAR HAPPENED!

I woke up in my bed and NEITHER of my daughters was there! For me, that was a divine moment that really represented a point of deliverance for my family.

As I searched to figure out what the date was and why ALL OF A SUDDEN neither of them felt a need to start-off or end-up in my bed, something significant was brought to my remembrance.

The 3 year “anniversary” (for lack of better word) of the  “official” collapse of my marriage had come and gone, without me anticipating the agony of getting through or past the date.  That’s right, as I looked at the calendar, I then remembered THAT day happened a few days before.

Hallelujah! More evidence that Persistent Prayer WORKS!

There was no dwelling on the divorce or flirting with figurative imaginationsof what could’ve been or should’vehappened.I was FREE!And apparently my daughters were freer than they’ve ever been before as well.

Truth be TOLD, it was DELIVERANCE!
For the 1st time in 3 years, I could roll over in the morning with ALL THE SPACE I wanted to use in my own bed without little body parts weighing me down.


In the WORDS of Martin Luther King Jr. I could truly say, FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I’M FREE AT LAST!


How did it feel?

I’d love to read your comments below.

A Single Parent’s Declaration : ” I Still Have Joy!”

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I absolutely hate being a single parent.

Sort of!

I know that may be strong words for some, but for me, it’s a reality. Especially because it was something I never intended to be or expected to experience. I mean each of my daughters birth were “planned” as much as two parents can plan and I had always lived under the belief that DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION.

Now, after 3 years of  living day in and day out, as a single parent, I can honestly say, I truly detest it.
Now, don’t get me wrong or mis-interpret what I’m saying. I love my daughters and I love life and have learned to be content in EVERY STATE.  However, it’s this state of being a single parent, that I pray will pass me by sooner than later.
Many things that would normally be so simple when married, end up turning into major challenges to overcome, just because there is only (1) parent in the home. No longer can you take the little things for granted. Sometimes just  QUICKLY running to the store for milk and eggs, can become a major task. FOR REAL. Not to mention, all the other considerations including the spiritual and natural ramifications of NOT having a father in the household, to school outings, school conferences, extra-curricular activities, quality time as a family etc …
A year or so before divorce hit my family, I remember having to spend some extended time a part from my spouse due to job responsibilities.   During that time, I was forced  to experience what some call being a Married Single Mom. The more I lived it, the more I began to have an appreciation for those single moms I’d known over the years. Heck, in my mind, it was even worth a poem or some sort of literature, from a married mother to the single mom entitled “Ode To The Single Mother!” But little did I know, God had allowed me to experience this life, prior to my divorce, as preparation, so that I wouldn’t completely stay in a state of shock! lol
I can look back now and see, that along my  journey, God always knew what was headed my way and He always gave me opportunities of preparation, no matter how horrible I thought the preparation was. Now, despite where I am in life and despite how much I’ve toyed with the fact that “this shouldn’t be my lot!”, I remain grateful that throughout it all, I can say like the gospel song coined by Dorothy Norwood ” I Still Have Joy!. I still have Joy! After all the things I’ve been through (which have yet to be told) …I still have JOY!

Dating Lesson #1: Go With Your Gut!

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Over the last several weeks since I’ve actually started dating again after 20 years of NOT dating anyone except my daughters’ father, (I was married for 14 years, and committed for 19 years) I’ve had some interesting conversations with some of my dear friends.

One of my friends, who happens to be in nearly the same situation, playfully says she is living vicariously through me, since our lives seem to be mirror images right now. Her point? If I can actually be “found” and accept dates with pretty viable “husband-material” in such a short amount of time, then by golly, so can she! Right? Right!

So as we have discussed the Pros and Cons of being a “sho-nuf-saved, spiritually-strong, single YET WHOLE, and chaste, 40 & Fabulous SISTER, I’m realizing that though maturity adds a depth of wisdom and understanding, some things REMAIN THE SAME.!

Dating Lesson #1

For instance: certain irritants that take place early on in your “discovery” phase will invariably grow stronger from day to day. So with this in mind, you should just “listen to your gut!” …”go with your gut” 

That’s right!

It is, what IT IS!

If something clearly bothers your or irritates you even slightly about someone you are dating, “getting to know” or who wants to seriously “court” you,  take it for what it’s worth and MOVE on!

Did I say that?

I sure did!

My motto now in life regarding ALL my relationships has to do with practicality, even though in reality, it can be hard to swallow and learn.

Here it is: “Make no mistake, people will do and say EXACTLY what they want to. BELIEVE what they say, but most importantly believe WHAT THEY DO. It is …what it is!”


Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t “go with your gut and it came back to haunt you? Sure you have, we all have, but guess what, that will NOT be my story this time.  I’d love to hear your experiences, so feel free to take a minute and SHARE any of the Relationship or Dating Lessons you’ve learned recently or even from the past.



Let's Talk About being Single, Saved and Starting to Date Again!?!

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Okay, so it’s been a LONG, LONG, LONG time since I’ve posted to this blog. Definitely due to more reasons than one.

However, I thought this would be the perfect season in my life to start posting regularly again as I “step-out!”

I’ve been divorced now for almost 3 years and throughout this time, I really never had a desire to get in the dating scene if that’s what you call it. I chose to focus on God, my girls and my ministry. Plus, I honestly had hopes of God restoring my family.  Now don’t get me wrong, that bit of hope is ALWAYS alive. However, I did receive a release from God to explore all of my options and now more than ever, I realize the way to do that is to open myself up to interacting with the opposite sex again. Oh my!

Yep, it’s been literally 20+ years since I’ve gone out on date, with someone other than my girls’ father, since I was married to my college sweetheart right after college and started dating him and him alone while a FRESHMAN in College!

So this experience has been quite interesting to say the least. Especially as a saved, YET WHOLE, single sister proudly living in chaste until I’m married again; which will hopefully happen sooner than later!!! I pray! Lol

So, technically in  2011 I’ve gone out on a handful of dates but only with those who clearly have the ability according to my spiritual & natural needs and desires to potentially become my husband. I have no qualms with saying I’m a woman of faith who wants a STRONG Man of Valor to lead and love me AND I believe in covenant and the ministry of marriage and being an advocate and chief intercessor for the one who FINDS ME and truly believes, God I’m that “missing rib”

One of the most thoughtful dates I’ve gone out on happened on my Birthday or should I say in celebration of my birthday the NIGHT before. This gentleman, (with whom I’m familiar) really pulled out all the stops. As soon as I got in his vehicle, he had a nice card waiting.

When we walked into this 5-star restaurant, I could tell he’d already been there because of how the staff greeted him. Then as we approached the booth, I was pleasantly surprised to see Lilac Roses in a vase on the table. As we continued in conversation, I was a bit thrilled to see a BIRTHDAY GREETING actually printed ON THE MENUs that we were reviewing. I thought, “Wow, he had to really take some time to plan this!” (smile) It made me smile and gave him tons of POINTS in my book of creativity and thoughtfulness.

He was clearly setting STANDARDS by which others will be judged in my “world of dating” or should I say by those who want to seriously PURSUE me…(smile)

How long after your divorce did you start seriously being open to a new God-ordained relationship?
So, what’s the most creative or thoughtful gesture you’ve experienced with someone who’s pursuing you?

My Authentic Life

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Yep, it’s been a while. Nevertheless here’s an interesting and enlightening post.  I wrote this poem back on November 22, 2009 and really had no intentions of posting it here. However,  I’m sharing it with you on what would be my 16th wedding anniversary, had my college sweetheart not decided he needed a break (2) years ago, after 14 years of marriage and 19 years of friendship.  Things that make you go Hmmm, huh?  Yet, I thank God that even during the process, He kept me sane and that as each day goes by I now awake with Joy, UNSPEAKABLE Joy.  To God Be The Glory!  This is MY Testimony in Poetic Form (Revelation 12:11)

Life interrupted …

My hopes

My dreams

My plans

My marriage

My family

My future

My perfect life

Destiny called and interrupted devastation.

She reminded me, my purpose remains.

No more tears, fears or pondering what could’ve, should’ve been.

Life interrupted all, yet I remain…






I am…





I remain, the authentic one.

I am THE winner.

5 year-old Tears, Tantrums & A Purpose

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As this day draws to a close and I ponder about the happenings of this day, I am so thankful, it didn’t end the way it started.


I mean what in the world would make a 5 year old get so unruly over having me THE MOM, sign a “green sheet” of paper that is no where to be found and that clearly doesn’t exist?

Boy they are so confident at that age, huh?

For whatever reason she was determined that her PURPOSE for the morning was to get this GREEN sheet of paper signed, through tears and tantrums!

So much so, HECK, it nearly brought me to tears! lol

Speaking of Purpose Though … one of things I have learned while WINNING over crisis and what I cover in my book Life Interrupted: 7 Key Strategies To Overcoming Difficult Times is this;

Anytime you are going through a difficult situation or are faced with challenging obstacles like so many people are faced with today, the number one thing I encourage everyone to understand and get a clear understanding of, before it’s too late is their purpose.


Ÿ         the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

Ÿ         an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal

I believe everything and everyone is created for a purpose.

Light was created to provide illumination. Food was created to provide nourishment. Teachers instruct.  Journalists inform.

As I reflect back over my life, it seems as though I’ve always been fortunate enough to know, my purpose.  Though I may not have always yielded to my purpose or may not have had the easiest time moving forward in it, I recognized it and moved in that direction.

Now it makes quite a lot of sense, as to why certain things related to my purpose seemed to be challenging and sometimes a bore, even as a child.  I realize now that another force was at work, every step of the way with the ultimate goal of stealing, killing or destroying my desire to connect with my purpose.

Because after all, that’s what the enemy of our destiny is all about. Now remember John 10:10 clearly tells us the enemy’s number one mission is to steal, kill and destroy. He does this by any means necessary and makes no apologies for doing so. That’s his number one job and number one goal.

To steal, kill and destroy us before we reach our ultimate purpose or better yet, before we even realize what we were created to do on this earth. So now, certain things and situations just don’t surprise me anymore. Though they may catch me off guard and throw me for a complete loop, when I take the time to realize the magnitude of what I’m called to do and the purpose for which I was created, it makes perfect sense to me, why the enemy would go after me so hard, and from a young age.

You see I was created to be a Kingdom Communicator, called to educate, enlighten and empower the people of God to tap into their passion and learn how to profit in their purpose.

So, not only is my voice important, but my speech is too. When working together, they catapult me to great heights because my voice and speech are apostolically and prophetically anointed for business and ministry.

Now, when I give speeches or have ministry engagements, I often say “No wonder, as a child I had a speech impediment and remember having to go to special classes to work on everything that constrained my speech!”  I was also quite shy, during my elementary years. So shy that one of my former childhood Pastors, who’s no longer alive, once told me he never would have imagined that I would have grown up to be a “TV newscaster”

It’s pretty obvious to me now why all of this was taking place even at such a young age.

The enemy was trying to steal my purpose.

That’s why no matter how hopeless your current situation may be, it’s so important to know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are, whose you are and why you were placed on this earth, at this particular time in history.

Everyone needs to make sure that as we walk through life, we know our purpose.  It’s when one doesn’t know his TRUE purpose that he is most susceptible to be set-up and set-back, by the counterfeit. But when you know exactly what you’re called to do, you walk boldly in the sphere of influence you have been placed in.

How Are You Working Your Purpose EVEN through crisis?

By the way, I wrote a note to my daughter’s  teacher and fortunately found out that I WASN’T losing my mind …the green paper doesn’t exist. But a yellow Tuesday folder does! Yep, that was due 2 days ago.. lol

The Love Language of Refusal

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When I read a story the Huffington Post published about Roger Ebert, debuting his ‘new digital” voice on Oprah and him overcoming throat cancer, by the end I was in tears.

It has to be the perfect mix of light-hearted humor, endurance and true love. Robert Ebert hasn’t spoken since 2006. Now days he can’t even eat or drink ’cause half of his throat and face has been removed.

He made his living TALKING and giving movie reviews, then the voice he got paid for, vanished after surgery. Through it all, his wife, has been there for him, “for better or for worse”

So you might ask, what about any of that brings tears to my eyes, huh?

Well it’s really the way he and his wife still communicate and love each other, through all of this. It’s clear when you watch the snippit that aired on Oprah or just read her quotes you can see this woman LOVES her man!

Check it out:

Throughout the Esquire profile and Ebert’s follow-up blog entry, Chaz was a constant presence, but never the primary voice. The Oprah interview gave a new glimpse into the Eberts’ lasting relationship and Chaz’s indelible role in her husband’s recovery and reaffirmed sense of purpose. Oprah addressed Chaz directly:

“I would just like to say this to you, Chaz, as one woman to another. You are incredible. You make me proud to spell my name w-o-m-a-n … Years ago, when everybody was saying it’s done, its over, Chaz called me and said, ‘I refuse to let him die.’ She stood by him, and has taken care of him, and shown what true love is.”

Chaz responded, “When I married Roger, I knew what an amazing man he was. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s very respectful of women, appreciative of other cultures. It’s hard to find someone like him and I didn’t want to lose him. I refused to give up.”

Wow, she REFUSES to give up!


Just think if most husbands and wives really were committed and determined to making that phrase their never-ending love language & theme in their marriage?

Can you imagine how many fewer divorces we’d have in Christendom and in the world?

I can!

Technically, I’m still refusing to give up on the marriage I know God ordained for me. But in the mean-time, I’m committed to moving forward in His purpose for me during my season of being Successfully Single!

By the way, from the way Ebert touches his wife’s hand as he’s trying out his new digital voice, you can tell, boy does this man LOVE his woman!

I can only hope and pray that one day sooner than later, the man God has for me will do the same for me.

Whew, what a Love Language; For better or for worse …true covenant love!

Go here to read the whole story in Huffington Post

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