What's Wrong With Christians And Divorce?

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You know what?

It’s a FACT, statistics show Christians divorce just as more than anybody else. Yep, Christians divorce rates beat out other religions and non believers.

Yet, unfortunately in the church, the subject of divorce still seems to be taboo.

Now days it only seems to come up when it can’t be avoided, due to highly publicized, high profile splits from the pulpit, like Randy White, Paula White, Jamal Bryant, Juanita Bynum etc …

Here’s the problem as I see it, though; lack of consistent teaching and preaching on Marriage and Covenant and essentially too little, too late.

That’s why I am so sick of Christian Lay people and Leaders, who’ve NEVER been through a divorce, trying to openly condemn those who have, after the fact!

Truth be told, many have NO IDEA, about anyone’s individual situation(s) AND many times aren’t sensitive enough to seek God for someone’s individual ministry needs, that they completely MISS it and don’t even know it.

Yes, the Bible is clear, God HATES Divorce.

So do I!

As a matter of fact, I truly despise it.

I believe in and honor God’s covenant.

Unfortunately though, through no fault of my own or even no desire of my own, I am now divorced.

Still saved. Still love God. Still love my husband. Still hear from God and still believe God loves me and directs and guides me.

Yes, and I’m still speaking HIS Gospel.

For me, divorce was NEVER EVER an option I even considered. My parents had been married for 30+ years and so had the parents of my husband.

Nevertheless, even with those great family stats in our favor, it happened to me, at the 14 year mark!

I was devastated!

I used to look at divorced Christians and wonder, what in the world went wrong. Especially, when it wasn’t obvious, someone was getting beat down, or there wasn’t  some sort of clear chaos, etc…

But once it happened to me, I truly see what people mean when they say “unless you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t judge me” and surely, don’t try to tell me how I should feel, act, react, not react etc …

What I have experienced these last 18 months, is TRAUMA and had it not been for my relationship with God, and a few intercessors whom God has strategically connected me to, (who experienced my same situation and have also seen VICTORY) it’s a TRAUMA that I see could’ve caused much personal demise.

Dr. Myles Munro, in his book,  Single, Married, Separated: Life After Divorce (which I will argue is the BEST book out there on the subject)  likens divorce in many ways to experiencing the death of a spouse. However, he goes on to explain, that divorce is something God didn’t necessarily give us mechanisms to handle, since IT IS NOT, a part of His ordained will.

This makes so much sense to me!

As a former TV news journalist and one who “lives on the web”, I am definitely what you would call an “information enthusiast” and trust me when I say, there’s a whole lot  JUNK out here on Christians and Divorce. But again, I have to salute Dr. Myles Munro and  Charlene & Bob Steinkamp of  Rejoice Ministries.

You know the other interesting thing, is, it was the first time in my life, that those connected to me in leadership, really didn’t have answers.

Most of those who were in my ‘inner circle of leadership” including Pastors and mentoring Men & Women of God, were in just as much shock as I was and could only say “Wow, I’m without words!” for the first week of my unfolding marriage ordeal.

Then the more I began to unexpectedly interact with those in similar situations, did I realize, how ill-equipped the body of Christ is when it comes to really nurturing Christians through divorce. Not to mention, when you really believe God has told you to STAND in FAITH for restoration and reconciliation or to just chill.

So, that’s why I started this blog. I want to provide a safe haven, where those in similar situations can see that they’re not alone and where others can come and really see, get and understand The Truth About Christians & Divorce. Check back daily as you’ll find daily posts by me and other guests too.

Dwann

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Post By Dwann (33 Posts)

Prophetess Dwann Holmes Rollinson, is an award winning journalist and Emmy-nominated Producer, entrepreneur and media analyst with more than 20 years of media experience.
As an Inspirational Speaker, Dwann has strengthened her commitment to be instant in season and to minister to the hearts of those who are hurting.
As a former broadcast journalist, she was accustomed to reporting the story but now she’s called to tell her personal story regarding Christians & Divorce. A story that she speaks on from her experience of how her FAITH, has led her through a recent unexpected crisis to a steady place in the midst of the storm, which is detailed in her upcoming book, “Life Interrupted : 7 Key Strategies To Overcoming Difficult Times.” Find out more at www.ProphetDwann.com

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7 comments

  1. Sophia says:

    Dwann what an awesome testimony of your perseverance in God as I’ve read several of your blogs. All…so, so true. This of course comes from someone who has walked through a divorce and NEVER, EV’ER thought I would go through it- not to mention be the one to initiate it. THAT’s the decision a lot of people don’t understand. But as you said, UNTIL SOMEONE WALKS IN YOUR SHOES…it is difficult for them to understand. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a loss. Divorce can be devastating. It is likened to death. BUT GOD is a God of restoration. I like to say it is the absolute truth that, GOD HATES DIVORCE BUT OH HOW HE LOVES ME! [That's a chapter in my soon to be publised book that I've written.] It has been so healing for me to write over these past 7 years. Our mess really does become a message as we allow God to use it. Keep writing and inspiring others to KEEP ON KEEPING ON!
    Blessings!

  2. Dwann Olsen says:

    Hi Sophia,
    Thanks so much for reading my posts. I’m glad they are serving their purpose.
    7 years, huh? Wow! Would love to hear more about your book, too.
    You are so correct, ‘He definitely HATES divorce, but OH HOW HE still LOVES ME & you! Thanks again for stopping by and for sharing this blog.
    Don’t forget to subscribe for FREE updates.
    Blessings to you and yours!

  3. Charlene says:

    Hi Dwann,
    Just stumbled across your blog and felt compelled to comment. My husband and I were both prominent Christian leaders in our city when, in the midst of a mid-life crisis, he decided I was no longer the woman he wanted to be with but rather another younger woman with her own family. Neither seemd to care that they were destroying two marriages because the fantasy of life together was just too powerful. After four years alone and having been divorced against my will (he married 3 weeks after the divorce was finalised) I find it still very difficult to grasp what has happened and find meaning in my life. But God has been and continues to be faithful. At the times of lowest ebb he sends friends to meet with and comfort from his presence.
    My greatest concern is this is happening within the church but most leaders are ignorant of how to deal with it and what to do with victims of divorce.
    Charlene

    • Dwann Olsen says:

      Hi Charlene,
      Thanks for your comments. I am grieved by your situation. But in the midst of it, I know God is able to give comfort and direction. You are right, God IS faithful. I hope you will stop by often and subscribe to this site and that as you come back there will be words of comfort and hope that speak directly to your heart and situation. Yes, the Body of Christ, HAS to do better and hold our leaders accountable, when they purposely go against God’s will and cause so much damage not only to their families but to those who are holding them in HIGH ESTEEM and observing, their actions.
      Charlene, you will definitely be in my prayers.

  4. Good post on this subject. Bookedmarked your site to read your next blog.

  5. Kerry Rogers says:

    Hello
    I totally relate to your post, I too was in my 14th year of marriage when my wife filed for divorce. I was being abused over the last ten years of our marriage and so I left.
    I did not want things to end in divorce but I was not the one that made that decision.
    The biggest problem is that my kids and I are suffering I feel more than anyone.
    I know my wife is hurting and I wish I could help her but I really don’t know how.
    She will not talk to me and I wish she would open up and talk but she will not.
    Our divorce is not final yet but will be soon. Feel free to post on my blog too.

    • Dwann Olsen says:

      Hi Kerry!
      Forgive me for taking so long to respond. Somehow I wasn’t getting the updates from this site. But I had also taken a “breakl” from posting on this blog as well.
      I will definitely check out your blog as well. You are in my prayers and pray that God will give you and everyone involved His peace & Grace.
      Dwann

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