Why We Should Pray For Benny Hinn's Marriage

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It looks like another high-profile Christian marriage is on shaky ground. By now many of you probably already know that Healing Evangelist Benny Hinn’s wife, has filed for divorce.

When I read the news several days ago, I was a bit taken a back, but NOT in shock.  At this point, I don’t think anyone’s divorce or marital challenges would shock me.

According to Hinn, it came as a shock to he and the rest of his family, though.

I know some people will say “Yeah, right!”

I on the other hand can truly relate to Hinn’s stance. From the very beginning of my “divorce drama” I fervently prayed God’s healing for my marriage, too.

I was in shock for the first month the dissolvement started to take place and really didn’t know where to turn for answers nor true support and resolve BUT to God.

I just couldn’t comprehend what was taking place, nor why.

I had to ask myself, “Is This Really Happening?”

And the more and more, my situation didn’t make sense, the more and more I realized there was indeed an all out attack in the spiritual realm.

I think most Christians have heard or read the scripture that states 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

That tells me, if you really believe in the spiritual realm, you understand there’s a huge possibility that maybe, the enemy came to steal your marriage, mine and yep, even Benny Hinn’s.

No, I don’t condone staying in any type of abusive relationship or marriage. But I do condone really going to The Throne to tap into the Spirit of God and His perfect will for your marriage.

Unfortunately, I believe many believers “give-up” too soon, not really taking their fight to the heavenlies. But that is very understandable, when in all actuality the blows are being felt in the natural.

In his letter to partners of his ministry, Benny Hinn adamantly denies any immorality or Biblical grounds for divorce and asks them to join him in prayers for HEALING as he believes God for restoration and resolve, before a divorce takes place.

As you ponder situations like this, you know only a higher power, THE higher power could restore such a tear.

Will you pray that Hinn’s marriage doesn’t end up like yours or mine?

Will you believe God for restoration of Hinn’s marriage, even if yours is still broken?

I will!

Did You Hear About firstwivesworld.com?

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Not more than 2 weeks ago during bible study Bishop Rudolph McKissick prophetically declared that God would make some of  “Our Struggles, Our Sermons” As he continued to expound, the message really resonated within my spirit.

It was as if from that moment on in more ways than one God began to thrust me forth with MORE opportunities to share my current testimony.

For almost 2 months now I’ve been blogging about my life as a newly divorced single Christian mom; the heartache, headaches, hurts, and yes, even the joys and jubilation.

Along the way, I’ve also joined social networking communities that cater to moms, entrepreneurial women and most recently women dealing with divorce.

One of those is firstwivesworld.com

In its About Us section, the description goes like this: First Wives World is a place for women to find divorce support through social networking, forums, discussions, groups, resources, relevant news and entertainment. Our goal is to provide women the resources, experts, mentors, tools and communities (both online and offline) required to support them at any stage of divorce and assist them in moving their lives forward with smarts, friendship and laughter.”

Soon after I joined firstwivesworld.com one of its editors, approached me about blogging on the site, from a Christian perspective.

I was pretty intrigued considering it definitely didn’t profess to be a Christian site.

As he explained more via email,

“I was interested to see that you write quite a bit about divorce from a Christian perspective.  I feel this is an area that we haven’t heard enough about on the site, and I think other Christian women in various stages of divorce could really relate to your experiences.”

I knew this was an instance where God would “use my struggle, as my sermon”

Not a lot is being said about Christians & Divorce, even in “Christendom” and as most know who follow my personal blog, I believe Christian Divorcees want and need support and need to know they are not alone.

So, I’m happy to fill a void on firstwivesworld.com and glad the site owners recognize the need to provide more for this ever growing audience of Christian Divorcees

Kudos to firstwivesworld.com.

Peruse the site today and be sure to check out my first post

Tiger's Two Bottom Lines

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I have such a low tolerance for marriage mates (male or female) who dishonor their vows via infidelity.

I really would describe it as the ultimate betrayal and just pure selfish. Needless to say, with all the talk about Tiger Woods’ apology and his newfound commitment to his mom’s faith, I figured I might as well chime in.

At first, I was going to name this post “Why Tiger Woods Is Better Than Most Christian Cheats”

For real! lol

My thought was, heck, at least he’s apologizing to his WORLD of FANS, when it appears most preachers and Christian leaders who get “caught” or caught-up, can barely apologize to their families, let alone their church congregations or ministry supporters who they truly owe some sort of apology too.

I mean the real bottom line is Tiger doesn’t owe an apology to any of us.

Because the fact of the matter is, it really is a personal situation. However, when you are careless and reckless about your marriage  and your vows to the tune that YOU invite the world in based off of your behavior, watch out!

See, once you’ve experienced infidelity within the confines of a “Christian marriage” you really do look at things a bit differently. Here again, it’s one of those situations where you have to insist, “Unless you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t judge me or tell me how to judge my situation”

My point is, for those “Christians” or “Believers in Christ” who really take their faith seriously, experiencing infidelity is probably the last thing you’d ever imagine you’d deal with in your covenant marriage.

Let alone divorce.

I sure didn’t!

But divorce, infidelity and abuse, appears to be happening at record speeds in Christian marriages, right along with everyone else. Nevertheless, once it happens to you, you really do just want to crawl under a rock and give up.

Though the circumstances help usher you into another level of intimacy with your God, on the other hand, you also are FORCED into dealing with emotions and hurts one can only really explain, once you’ve been there.

Of course you deal with the obvious, shame, rejection and embarrassment. But how do you explain or come to terms with it, when you KNOW God ordained your covenant marriage?

What’s the purpose in that?

Why would God allow it?

How could God allow it?

Good questions, huh?

Unfortunately, questions that may also go unanswered and hidden if we “Christian Divorcees” don’t truly vow to be transparent before God as we walk through this healing journey.

What hidden issues are preventing you from healing, through this divorce process?

Back to Tiger’s apolgy; Yep, his words were great and he looked and sounded sincere. Sounded a bit angry at times too.

But the bottom line is, whether or not his actions will meet up with his words.

And just like in most cases of infidelity, dishonor and dishonesty, only time will tell. Question is; will Elin find it within herself to forgive, rebuild trust and to most importantly realize, there was NOTHING she could do to change the outcome, because in actuality it wasn’t and isn’t about her it’s about him and his inner demons that he’s allowed to takeover.

Still Have Heart Issues?

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The last few days have been an interesting, to say the least.

Help, I Can’t Turn This Singing Baloon Off!

My 5 year old keeps hitting the HUGE “singing” balloon I got for Valentine’s day and now, I can’t get the country and corny “Roses Are Red, My Love”  ballad out of my head!!lol! Okay, enough about that…

I’ve heard all kinds of wonderful feedback from men and women, who’ve confirmed just how much the message I ministered “From The Cradle of Crisis to The Door of Destiny” impacted their lives on Saturday.

Many who gave feedback, happen to be “Christian Divorcees” who thought they were healed more than they were, at that particular time. Men and women, shared how listening brought tears to their eyes as healing came forth.  It caused them  to re-evaluate where they are so that God could truly deal with “heart issues” that could possibly hold them back if not dealt with now.

For me, just delivering that message and sharing a bit more transparency in where I am and where I hope to be, also brought healing to me as well, in more ways than one.

It was as if a huge burden was lifted and continued to be lifted with every word that I spoke. No one can deny, “The enemy is defeated by the BLOOD of the Lamb and the WORD of our testimony” (Revelation 12:11) I’ve always staunchly believed that you still may be in need of deliverance, until you can tell your testimony.

For me, this time around really ushered me to a new level of FREEDOM, as I decided to truly OWN my side of the divorce, without being swallowed by shame and embarrassment because of situations and circumstances that I could not control and that I had NOTHING to do with.

That’s not my story and not mine to be ashamed of.

Whew! Thank God for healing, deliverance and revelation!

I really had no idea how much this ministry is needed until I started this blog and then even more so after I began reviewing the stats from those trying to sign up for the webinar Successfully Single and from those downloading it for free over the weekend; several hundred in a couple days. And while that may not sound like a lot to some, for me that’s quite a bit, considering, we only did a small “viral campaign”

Now, the FREE Valentine’s Day mp3 GIVEAWAY is over, but if you’re still interested in listening in you can go here . Just fast forward about 3 minutes to get past the “technical housekeeping”

One other thing I noticed from myself and many others I’ve spoken with or heard from is that NOW, they are really ready to be open and honest about what they WANT, DESIRE AND NEED out of life and a potential covenant husband/wife.

This is so important.

Once you’ve gone through a divorce, you can really start to see what you believe is acceptable and non-acceptable in your life and in a lifelong partner.

I think this quote from Barbara De Angelis says it best, for me!

Living with integrity means: ·

Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships.

· Asking for what you want and need from others.

· Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension.

· Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values.

· Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.

What have you learned about what you desire and need from a potential mate?

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here

Free Valentine's Day MP3

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Happy Valentines Day,

I had a great time yesterday on Successfully Single, a virtual conference I did with my good friends Tara Travis and Barb Pruitt.

Are You Successfully Single?!

God really ministered as we all shared our testimonies and practical steps to we adhere to, to make sure we’re living Successfully Single.

Of course I shared the struggles  I encountered  enduring a divorce after 19 years of friendship and 14 years of marriage with my college sweetheart, who I had NO DESIRE to divorce.

Nevertheless, I am now Successfully Single and God has given me seven specific keys to overcoming difficult times. Now, I share that message with all but particularly singles and “Christian Divorcees”  It will also be highlighted in my new release coming in March, “Life Interrupted”

So, just want to say a BIG “Thanks” to everyone who participated via Web and Telephone. We even had some married folks attend and are happy about that.

If you missed it, no worries! We’re going to keep the REPLAY and mp3 DOWNLOAD page LIVE through late Monday.

So, now you can download the MP3 for your listening pleasure and you can also pass this on to ANYONE, you’d like!

What a great Valentine’s Day gift, huh?

So, my prayer for you today is that  if you are single, you will LOVE ON YOURSELF and allow God to fill any voids you may be experiencing when all around you seem to be “celebrating love”.

Be blessed!

Oh yes, do me one more favor and forward this blog post  to at least 5 of your SINGLE FRIENDS and encourage them to click on the flyer below and REGISTER now if they want to find out about upcoming events.

Remember it’s real easy to do so. Just click on the SHARE icon below and hit email.

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here

Successfully Single

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Though it’s only been 1.5 years since my ‘official” divorce was final, I have to admit, it’s been a doozy relearning how to be Single.

Thank God,  along this journey, He’s given me some strategies to overcoming crisis, I’ll be sharing in my upcoming book: “Life Interrupted”

When you’re used to sharing 19 years of your life with someone specific, you have to literally TEACH yourself, how to be Successfully Single.

You have to teach yourself how to now, reFOCUS on yourself and what it means to be Single YET Whole.


It’s not always easy, but as a Christian Divorcee, who’s had to REPOSITION herself in more ways than one, I can tell you that it is possible to re-connect with yourself allow God to transform you into a Successfully Single person.

This Saturday at 10am EST, I’ll be sharing my story alongside my friend Barb Pruitt via a webinar Hosted by my good friend Tara Travis of Godly Business Women.

It’s a FREE Webinar/Teleseminar so please join us and spread the word if you know folks who can benefit from learning how to overcome the struggles that come with “singlehood”

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here

To Date Or Not To Date

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I was watching TV one day during my “me time”  and stumbled upon “Let’s Talk About, Pep” the VH-1 reality show featuring Sandra “Pepa” Denton of Salt-n-Pepa fame.

Last I hear and saw, “Salt” Cheryl (James) Wray is actually a born-again Christian, who’s preparing for her first gospel album.

The Cast of "Let's Talk About Pep"

Pep, on the other hand is living a very interesting life. After 4 years of NO SEX, (which she mentions, quite often on the show) she’s ready to find a good man, fall in love and it appears, break this streak.

Along the way, she and 3 other “girlfriends” who are also living the “Single Life” allow TV cameras to follow them on their search for Mr. Right.

Needless to say, as you can imagine, they run across lots of Mr. Wrongs.

While, I don’t set my alarm to make sure I don’t miss it, I actually like the show and can count on it to give me a great laugh and lots to ponder as I walk down this journey of  “Singlehood” as a Christian Divorcee.

Of course one of her friends is a recent divorcee in her 40’s who appears to attract “Fine, young things” or should I say “Cubs” (lol) But again, definitely gives you so much to think about.

When is the right time to even “think” about dating?

As Christian Divorcees, should we even consider “casual” dating?

What if you really have no desire to even “play those “dating” games”?

As I’ve shared some of the intimate times in my life, I’ve also heard from those of you, who say it’s hard to even think about “loving” someone again, when you truly have been hurt by the one person besides God, you thought would never hurt you.

To a certain extent, that’s how I felt, too.

And one of my great friends says she’s coming up on the 4 year mark and ONLY NOW, does she even feel that she could be ready to invite someone else into her life.

Whew!

Me?

Well for now, I just tell folks, I’m Divorced YET Unavailable. That’s a whole other story and whole other post! Lol

In the mean-time, I’ll stick to focusing on My God, My Girls and My Ministry as He leads.

What about you?

How challenging was it to overcome your hurt to allow someone else in?

Would You Ever Let Cameras Tape Your Journey!?

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here


Take Time Out For You!

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Well it’s Friday and I’m really looking forward to the weekend.

Tonight Pastor Jamal Bryant, founder of Baltimore’s Empowerment Temple and author of new book World War Me will be here in Jacksonville for 1st Fridays Jax, which is sponsored by Millennium Masters founded my good friend and ministry mentor Pastor B. Dwayne Hardin of Atlanta. We’ll be at Bethel Baptist Institutional Church where Bishop Rudolph McKissick is Sr. Pastor.

Should be a fun night!

In the midst of pushing through an unexpected divorce, I thank God that He’s always given me the grace to continue to minister to His people.

That always gives me joy.

Sometimes, I also find joy in just “chillin” and doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You know? No deadlines, no meetings, no church ..NOTHING!

What kind of things give you joy?

Are you still taking time out to do them?

I hope so!

In 2010, I have strengthened my commitment to be instant in season and to minister to the hearts of those who are hurting. As a former broadcast journalist, I was accustomed to reporting the story but God now calls me to tell my story.

For 2010, my main keynote is “7 Key Strategies To Overcoming Crisis.” It is a message that has resonated with many people and that offers practical God-inspired steps to WINNING through a crisis, like a “Christian Divorce” I am humbled that God has called me to speak from experience of how He has led me through this recent unexpected crisis to a steady place in the midst of the storm, which is detailed in my upcoming book, “Life Interrupted.”

So often when you go through a divorce, we hear of stories where “divorcees” particularly women, seem to just lose their lives, their joy and livelihood, in the midst and after a divorce.

Especially when it is unexpected and unwanted.

That’s why it’s so important for us to have and find great support systems.

And as many of us have experienced, that support system is lacking more than one would hope and expect, within Christendom.

Now as word gets out about my “new” ministry and as my great friends and colleagues provide connections, I’m running across all kinds of terrific resources. One of those that was forwarded to me yesterday is FirstWivesWorld.com

I know, I know. Sounds like a movie, huh?

I checked it out and really believe it’s pretty cool and a well planned out online community, that’s NOT about “bashing men” or ex-husbands.

It’s about providing hope, guidance and helping others regain their lives back! It’s also been featured within the national media as well.

I like it. It made me smile and I’m glad to be able to share a slice of my life, through this blog too. So, be sure to check it out.

Enjoy your weekend and never forget, take time out for YOU!

How do you plan to take time out for you this weekend?

How challenging has it been for you to TAKE CARE OF YOU, during your crisis?

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here.

Is God Calling Gayle Haggard To Stay?

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You know what?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it takes an incredible person of faith, who’s confident in God, God’s grace and The Power of Forgiveness to be able to walk through what Gayle Haggard is walking through and still STAND.

I watched snippets of her interview on Oprah and have read some excerpts from her book ” Why I Stayed” and am really just in awe, even though I know what it feels like to STAND, believing God for restoration.

Yet, I am utterly amazed at Gayle Haggard’s stance, when its revealed how much she has endured even over the years, some would say “naively” But, as my “Christian Divorce” crisis has confirmed to me and taught me, you really can never, ever say what you would and wouldn’t do in a situation, until you’ve actually experienced, that specific situation.

Trust me on this, one.

As, I confidently ALWAYS say now, I truly see what people mean when they say “unless you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t judge me” and surely, don’t try to tell me how I should feel, act, react, not react etc …

Getting back to Gayle Haggard;

Despite having every reason to move forward and divorce Ted Haggard and despite him telling her to divorce him, she’s shouting her decision to stay at the rooftop.

Now, some are even saying, she’s only doing it for the money!

Yep, I’m sure she’s reaping some financial rewards, but telling her story, has got to be more, than just about money.

Don’t you think?

I mean, just think about it.

Is exposing all of that really worth the money and possible humiliation of letting all who read, into such an intimate and normally unexposed part of her life?

Or could it be that God is calling her to walk this out in grace and share her story of commitment to her God, her husband and her vows, despite all the drama, especially during a time where Christian marriages seem to end up just as fatal as secular ones?

Could it be that God is using Gayle Haggard and her book to open up the door to talk about those “taboo” subjects like, homosexuality, pornography, adultery and  Christians & Divorce?

Could it be that God is allowing others to see her strength in order to truly take their situation to God?

In my book, that takes an incredible woman of faith!

What are your thoughts?

Would you be willing to expose your weakness if it meant God would be glorified?

Or do you think, those who do are just thinking about financial gain?

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments,below! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here.

Pray on Purpose!

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There is absolutely nothing, like the power of prayer.

Nothing.

When done right, it invigorates, rejuvenates, and causes us to be in a better position to move in the timing of God and know that God is in control. During difficult times in our lives, it is not the time to give up or question what God is calling you to do.

Yet, this is the time to PUSH, PRESS & PURSUE, your destiny.

Yes, for many of us “pressing through” the circumstances surrounding a Christian Divorce, this is the time that we  have to press on through our pain through prayer and realize that through this pain, God is pulling out your purpose.

That’s why it’s so important to be very strategic in your prayers during the difficult times that you are expecting to overcome.  That’s essentially what my new book “Life Interrupted” 7 Key Strategies To Overcoming Crisis is about; overcoming and surviving crisis through strategic instruction.

You see, prayer is what got me through more than anything else and what continues to be my foundational force. I had to talk to God and even as I was talking to God, I had to listen and be strategic on every level.

If prayer is new for you, first and foremost know that prayer is simply talking with God. That means you have to have a 2-way conversation. In my normal conversations there tends to be a pattern of discussion that always develop.

We ask, we speak & we listen, we speak, we ask and we listen. Use this same pattern as you take your prayer to new levels during this unexpected season in your life.

Speak It!

I have learned, while walking through crisis, it’s imperative to be transparent with God, if not anyone else.  Don’t be afraid to really let God know how you’re feeling.  Speak in a transparent voice, knowing that all that you say is between you and God and technically, He already knows what you’re going to say, before you even speak it.

Nevertheless, this new amount of time with God, will serve as a time of refreshing as He repositions you during your challenging times.

This is the time, when God will start telling you again, who you are, whose you are and why He created you. He will begin to remind you, that this tragedy is only temporary and that indeed you will triumph in the end.

How is your prayer life?

Are you strategically speaking what God is saying to you at this time?

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I welcome your comments! Also, remember you can receive FREE updates via RSS feed by just submitting your email or clicking on the orange RSS feed subscription button at the top right of the header. Or if you have a FACEBOOK page, follow via FB by clicking on the Networked Blogs icon to the right or right here.