The Love Language of Refusal

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When I read a story the Huffington Post published about Roger Ebert, debuting his ‘new digital” voice on Oprah and him overcoming throat cancer, by the end I was in tears.

It has to be the perfect mix of light-hearted humor, endurance and true love. Robert Ebert hasn’t spoken since 2006. Now days he can’t even eat or drink ’cause half of his throat and face has been removed.

He made his living TALKING and giving movie reviews, then the voice he got paid for, vanished after surgery. Through it all, his wife, has been there for him, “for better or for worse”

So you might ask, what about any of that brings tears to my eyes, huh?

Well it’s really the way he and his wife still communicate and love each other, through all of this. It’s clear when you watch the snippit that aired on Oprah or just read her quotes you can see this woman LOVES her man!

Check it out:

Throughout the Esquire profile and Ebert’s follow-up blog entry, Chaz was a constant presence, but never the primary voice. The Oprah interview gave a new glimpse into the Eberts’ lasting relationship and Chaz’s indelible role in her husband’s recovery and reaffirmed sense of purpose. Oprah addressed Chaz directly:

“I would just like to say this to you, Chaz, as one woman to another. You are incredible. You make me proud to spell my name w-o-m-a-n … Years ago, when everybody was saying it’s done, its over, Chaz called me and said, ‘I refuse to let him die.’ She stood by him, and has taken care of him, and shown what true love is.”

Chaz responded, “When I married Roger, I knew what an amazing man he was. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s very respectful of women, appreciative of other cultures. It’s hard to find someone like him and I didn’t want to lose him. I refused to give up.”

Wow, she REFUSES to give up!


Just think if most husbands and wives really were committed and determined to making that phrase their never-ending love language & theme in their marriage?

Can you imagine how many fewer divorces we’d have in Christendom and in the world?

I can!

Technically, I’m still refusing to give up on the marriage I know God ordained for me. But in the mean-time, I’m committed to moving forward in His purpose for me during my season of being Successfully Single!

By the way, from the way Ebert touches his wife’s hand as he’s trying out his new digital voice, you can tell, boy does this man LOVE his woman!

I can only hope and pray that one day sooner than later, the man God has for me will do the same for me.

Whew, what a Love Language; For better or for worse …true covenant love!

Go here to read the whole story in Huffington Post

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Post By Dwann (33 Posts)

Prophetess Dwann Holmes Rollinson, is an award winning journalist and Emmy-nominated Producer, entrepreneur and media analyst with more than 20 years of media experience.
As an Inspirational Speaker, Dwann has strengthened her commitment to be instant in season and to minister to the hearts of those who are hurting.
As a former broadcast journalist, she was accustomed to reporting the story but now she’s called to tell her personal story regarding Christians & Divorce. A story that she speaks on from her experience of how her FAITH, has led her through a recent unexpected crisis to a steady place in the midst of the storm, which is detailed in her upcoming book, “Life Interrupted : 7 Key Strategies To Overcoming Difficult Times.” Find out more at

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